Courtroom Insight

The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court 
records nationwide ...

  1)  Was that the same nose you broke as a child? 

  2)  Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person 
      dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes 
      quietly away and doesn't know anything about it 
      until the next morning?

  3)  Q: What happened then?
      A: He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because 
         you can identify me.'
      Q: Did he kill you?

  4)  Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war? 

  5)  The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? 

  6)  Were you alone or by yourself. 

  7)  How long have you been a French Canadian? 

  8)  Do you have any children or anything of that kind? 

  9)  Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize 
         that picture.
      A: That's me.
      Q: Were you present when that picture was taken? 

 10)  Were you present in court this morning when you were 
      sworn in?

 11)  Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage 
      A: By death.
      Q: And by whose death was it terminated? 

 12)  Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now? 
      A: I'll be three months on November 8.
      Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was 
         August 8?
      A: Yes.
      Q: What were you doing at that time? 

 13)  Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally 
      A: I used to be.
      Q: How many times have you committed suicide? 

 14)  So you were gone until you returned? 

 15)  Q: She had three children, right? 
      A: Yes.
      Q: How many were boys?
      A: Yes.
      Q: How many were boys?
      A: None.
      Q: Were there girls?

  16) You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what 
      it looked like, but can you describe it?

  17) Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement? 
      A: Yes.
      Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? 

  18) Q: Have you lived in this town all your life? 
      A: Not yet.

  19) A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of 
      unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself 
      and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next 

  20) Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you 
         examined the body of Mr. Edington at the rose 
      A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 
         8:30 p.m.
      Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that 
      A: No, you stupid, he was sitting on the
         table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!